Resistence is Futile

My wife likes to call the period after Christmas an "assimilation." In her words, "where you try to take your new stuff and squash it into your existing stuff." I'm sure George Carlin is getting quite a chuckle by now.

This year for us is also the first real year for our daughter at Christmastime. Her first holiday season was little more than a period for relatives who have never seen her to fawn endlessly over her and all the relatives who had met her to continue to gush and preen. She got a few things from us that were age-appropriate and that was about it as far as gifts.

Not so for Xmas 2008! There abounds (too much) kid age goodies that were bestowed upon our genteel daughter this year. My wife and I pretty much stay away from indulging her much simply because we know both of our families will shower her with stuff. While we were digging in to all of this stuff Christmas morning and thereafter, I started to notice how much packaging and such all these things had that I was determined to break down and recycle everything. It seemed too much to simply throw it all away, and this got me thinking just how much of it was really necessary for the given toy.

Some of it really started to frustrate me, so I figured I would use the power of the interwebs and make my opinion known. Hereby lies my listing of most of the toys and such that were given to my daughter for Christmas and how they score on my own scale of environmental friendliness. As you might guess, not many of them did well.

Learn & Groove Alphabet Drum by Leapfrog

We might as well start at the bottom; I don't think it can get much worse from this one. The toy itself is a neat little thing, it's got some groovy tunes and can help with alphabet awareness. She bangs on it in ABC mode and it rails off the alphabet. Toys that involve smacking are always good for the toddler. That's about it as far as compliments you'll get from me on this one though, as the packaging was just piss poor. As you will hear from me as I go on with this list, twist ties are one of the banes of my existence when it comes to packaging. The twist ties in children's toys for some reason are these heavy plastic and metal things that seem more suited for keeping astronauts secure instead of a child's plaything (no offense to Mr. Buzz Lightyear). They are in abundance with Leapfrog's Alphabet Drum here and it sucks. Not only that, the packaging itself was small and difficult to maneuver around (not so bad) except they also used hot glue to fasten the toy in the packaging and this is just a BIG no-no (whole sections of the cardboard became useless as they were completely glued together and had to be thrown away; as environmentally conscious as I try to be, I'm not going to unfasten hot glue from itself).

Score: F

Elmo Laptop by Fisher-Price

This one wasn't as bad, although I must confess my disdain for all things Elmo in general. Frankly I just don't get the little red monster's appeal, having grown up on Sesame Street myself without the little bugger. Why all kids seem to dig this intentionally immature character I'll never understand; but, the proof is in the pudding and my kid loves him. By itself the toy is fairly clever and potentially will get a lot of use; the four or five different "program" cards you can use with it offer a lot of variety with learning shapes, numbers, and letters. The problem here was simply too much packaging (in excess, like little tab things that serve no purpose except to drop to the floor and get lost under the fridge) and entirely too much tape. Also, in case the tape wasn't enough to keep Mr. Elmo secure in his transitional cardboard home, there are again: twist ties!! If I had saved all the doggone things from this endeavor I could probably build a house that would rival the sturdiness of the smart pig's brick house when it comes to keeping out the Big Bad Wolf.

Score: C-

Magic Ball Zone by Playhut

This guy was without a doubt the hit of Christmas. Basically a glorified indoor tent that you get the excuse to toss hundreds of plastic balls into. It doesn't get much better than that (unless you add more balls; I figure we could get three hundred of the suckers in for the ultimate in home ball pits). Not only is it an awesome toy (if just to say "I've got a ball pit at home!"), the packaging is a big win. As far as I could tell, the only reason this box even had tape on it was because it was shipped directly to my sister-in-law (the giver). I imagine had you just picked up the box in the store it would just contain what you wanted: a ball pit and some balls. Big win here.

Score: A

Dusty the Talking Vacuum Cleaner by Playskool

I wish I was making this stuff up, folks. This indeed is Dusty, the talking vacuum. Makes about as much sense as "Thinny, the talking household paint solvent!!" My daughter has a bit of a fear of our vacuum, so this was a tough sell. I think it is likely sitting in the other side of the house farthest away from her playroom right about now. I don't know, it's a toy vacuum. That doesn't clean. And talks. Part of me is irritated by this thing just because I have a daughter, so naturally she needs things like vacuums and shopping carts as toys. But that's another topic altogether. This bad boy had an excess of tape AND packaging, and don't forget: twist ties! Our favorite. Dusty wasn't doing himself any favors when it came to his box.

Score: C-

Elmo & Cookie Monster Giggle Ball by Fisher Price

At first, my daughter was scared of this thing. Frankly I don't blame her (it's a little creepy by itself and you haven't heard it talk). Now she's OK with it, but it is kind of heavy and doesn't function much as a ball as it has a battery pack and thus some weight to it. The packaging was aplenty for a fairly small cloth FACE ball, and it also committed the cardinal sin of taping cardboard tabs!! This just drives me nuts. It's like making tongue and groove shelving in a wood shop and then hammering the boards together, just for good measure. You have a great idea with cardboard tabs: they hold on their own, don't waste material, time, and energy on then taping them, for goodness sake!

Score: C

Learn & Groove Radio by Leapfrog

This is actually a pretty neat little toy and learning device. My only real complaint with it is the prominence of the change language button being the largest and at the most obvious position. ("Do-do-DOO! English! Do-do-DOO! Espanol! Do-do-DOO! English!") The actual buttons that help to teach my child anything are harder to find and hit with her little hands. From the packaging perspective, this thing just misses all over. Excess cardboard, tape AND glue, plus our favorite titanium twist ties. Big miss.

Score: D-

Laugh & Learn Smart Bounce & Spin Pony by Fisher Price

Besides having one too many ampersands in its name, this little guy is actually pretty neat. We have yet to hook it to the TV and try that component (looks pretty neat, it can actually "grow" with our child) but just being a ride-on pony in the house is a lot of fun (the first thing it cries is "Wheeeeee!!!"). The only minuses this guy gets on packaging was a fair amount of plastic (just about everything was in some sort of bag, nevermind the suffocation possibilities there) and of course plenty of cardboard. Thankfully it skips on most of the other irritating junk already discussed in this post (tape, glue, twisty fun!) so it gets fairly high marks there as well.

Score: B-

Easel for Two by Step 2

Double-sided easel, chalkboard on one side and magnetic whiteboard on the other. Fun stuff. It also comes with a smorgasbord of magnetic letters (many too small for our little one, but it is listed as age 3 and above); currently the podling enjoys playing with the emptied out letter sheets that are also magnetic. It will be an endlessly usable device as she gets older and can do more things. The packaging is a big win here: it was shipped in just a plastic covering and only held together with that plastic wrap-like stuff on the bottom. While that stuff can't be recycled, at least they didn't waste much on anything else that would be excessive.

Score: B+

Lullaby Gloworm by Playskool

This thing was putting me to sleep. I would imagine it's an updated gloworm from back in the day; it pretty much does the same things those did. The packaging wasn't too bad but wasn't great either. Twist ties plus cardboard tabs secured with tape. Unfortunately two big misses there.

Score: C+

I would be loathe to neglect a mention here of a toy I got for Christmas: the Netflix Player by Roku. Head on over to The Ballad Recommends post for some more information, but I will say that the packaging on this little gem was as exemplary as the device is for what it does. Mostly cardboard (compartments, tabs and all), a little plastic, but no ties or tape or any other nonsense. It was even shipped in that box without any purposeless cushioning with no ill effects. Well done, Roku.

If any of this info helps to save you from buying something new in order to save on populating our world with more useless twist ties and tape, I suppose I've done something. I will say that some of these toys aren't worth it based solely on how they come in the box; others are the exact opposite. Take from this post what you will. Me, I enjoyed throwing back against some of the companies that think they can get away with over-packaging for no reason (other than to irritate me).

Blog on.

When You Are Calm, At Peace

It had been a few weeks for me since I was at class for varying degrees of reasonableness. Last night when we sat down for our meditation, suddenly all the cares and worries that build and fester in one's mind blow away. When I was missing this meditation and subsequent class time over this blindingly fast and busy month, my whole center was suffering. It's one of those things you don't feel or realize until it's gone for a while.

Granted, I should be doing more meditation on my own than I do. Several mornings a week, actually. It's a routine I've tried to get into over the years and just have not been able to crystallize. The siren call of bed and sleep always somehow seem more powerful at 6AM than sitting on the cold floor and exercising. The benefits of the latter cannot be underestimated though. I find I have more energy and better limberness (especially in my genetics-cursed back) whenever I drag myself up at the proper time to get about 15-20 minutes of morning exercise.

The podling is currently recovering from several ear infections. Apparently in a small human, run-of-the-mill colds often cause later infections in the head passageways if they don't clear up. It makes sense: small human, small head. Passageways are closer together. You know, if one fails, so must the other. It's one of those things I never put together. I would often hear some parent lamenting this ear infection they just got over, their second that month, etc etc. I would think "Geez, what's the matter with these kids' ears?" not knowing that it is often caused simply by a cold that didn't clear up. One of those "nobody ever tells you this stuff." I like to think that my daughter has inherited my stalwart immune system, thus this being her first "major" illness. The doc was quite surprised that 14 months out and it was the first time the podling ever came in for a sickness. The pride doth swelleth.

I have discovered that my garage would make an excellent workshop. Not like this is a surprise to any homeowner, but the other week the weather was terrible and I couldn't get outside to finish up fence picketing. I still have to complete building the gates (one for the front, one for the back) and my lovely wife gave me the idea of working inside. While this has its advantages, it definitely will take some work to make the garage more workshop-friendly. In the cold the garage door was naturally closed, and wouldn't you know this isn't the best environment for working with pressure-treated wood (aka formaldehyde-laden sawdust). So, you live and learn. In the future my goals for the garage are lofty: a rolling work bench to replace the useless one in the basement, refinished flooring, better organization (possibly also in the rafters). We are of the minority of homeowners that actually use our garage to house the car, so any major changes to the garage have to incorporate this. It shall be the man cave of the house, more or less.

Since I don't blog on here often enough, I will wish any readers a happy holiday. Perhaps over the break I'll post some pictures of projects I'm working on. The finished Wall has yet to materialize on The Ballad, so that has to happen. I also have some other recommendations I'll most likely put up soon; keep watching the right-hand links.

Blog on!